21 Jun 2024
SOURCE: CPF Board
You got married to your soulmate, and together you are thinking of starting a family. But merging lives can be both fun and tricky, especially with kids in the mix. From getting the essentials to saving for your family and personal goals, managing money as a couple may not be easy.
But don't worry! You're not the only ones. Two young Singaporean parents share their experiences.
For Zoey, it's about planting the seeds for her daughter's future
Zoey: I was with my handsome boyfriend, Marcus, for ten years before getting married. Four years later, me and my still-handsome husband finally got the keys to our BTO flat, but in that time, our daughter, Haylee was born. We’re now waiting for the wonderful renovations to be done before moving in to start our adventures as a family of three!
Their ideal wedding vs their family's expectations
We were both nineteen when we started our relationship, so there was not much discussion on finances. But as we gradually started working towards the next stage of our lives together, we started planning for short term goals like our wedding, and longer-term goals like saving up for our dream home.
The first challenge came when we were planning for our wedding. Marcus and I wanted a small intimate lunch, but our parents’ preference was for a ceremonial banquet with extended family and guests.
We then had to identify the necessary expenses and look for ways to reduce costs. During that period, we did little tweaks to our lifestyle, more date nights at home instead of going out, saving a larger portion of our income for our wedding and home. For the wedding expenses, we found a package for my dress rental and make-up that included Marcus’ tailored suit at a reasonable price. The venue decorations were also done by our friends, allowing us to save a sizeable amount of money.
Ultimately we had a relatively smaller banquet wedding – a solution that was a win-win for everyone!
Using MediSave for maternity related expenses
Our priorities shifted significantly once we knew I was pregnant. This prompted us to rethink our budgets again, as we needed to think of expenses such as routine gynae check-ups, hospital bills, baby necessities and furniture. Lucky for us, we were also gifted a lot of hand-me downs from our friends, which saved us a lot of money!
I remember the clinic telling me to keep all my medical receipts so that we can do a MediSave claim once I gave birth. But I honestly don’t know how it’s done, since Marcus took care of everything.
Their daughter is now their number one financial priority
Our topmost priority used to be a comfortable retirement, but our main focus now is making sure Haylee has a good head start in life. It is also about ensuring her well-being no matter what the future holds.
We now have to factor a portion of our income for Haylee. That includes her daily expenses and long-term savings/protection such as insurance and savings account. Honestly, it was a little overwhelming at first. As soon as I was able to, I bought maternity insurance (you can only purchase it at 13 weeks of pregnancy). Right after we registered Haylee’s birth certificate, we got her life and health insurance.
Even when it came to our new home, we had to decide between a kid-friendly home for our daughter, or designing a home that we both envisioned. We chose to put our daughter first, and to design a home based on her needs, while still incorporating elements of our own style.
Like daughter, like mum
My mum always wanted to extend the longevity of the things we own, like keeping appliances until they really need changing. For example, if the fan stops occasionally, it is not a reason to replace it. It's the same with finances – saving on the small expenses now, frees up money for bigger, long-term goals like saving for retirement.
Thanks to her attitude towards money, my parents are financially secure. It's nice knowing I don't have to worry too much about their future needs.
My mum’s approach to finances is something I aim to emulate. For our home purchase, Marcus and I chose to leave $20,000 in my CPF Ordinary Account (OA) to continue growing our retirement income. It wasn’t easy to use cash to pay for our home, but we felt that it was important to set aside some money for our future.
Is your money still your money?
We buy everything Haylee “owns” now too, so technically our money is her money.
As she grows up, we will also teach her how to be financially responsible. For example, when we go to the supermarket, and she wants a biscuit. We tell her that it is not ours, until we pay for it. And we'll take her to the cashier to pay for it. Although she doesn't really understand what money is yet, this helps her learn that things have a price, and need to be bought before you can have/use them.
Meanwhile, we will put her angbao money and extra savings into her savings account from time to time. My mum saved for me and my siblings and that helped us to study abroad, and I hope we can do the same for my daughter too; so that she has the financial freedom to follow her dreams in the future.
But if you’re talking about Marcus’ money then yes. Although we have joint account for necessary expenses, we still have our own savings accounts to spend on our own needs and wants. So only some of his money is my money! 😊
For Saiful, it's about planning for the family as the sole breadwinner
Saiful: I’m 40, a mid-career professional working in the public service and the sole breadwinner for the family.
When we got married in 2017, me and my wife Anita discussed the option of her being a stay-home mum when we have children. The key reason was that we wanted at least one of us to accompany our children during their formative years to inculcate our values and support them through any challenges.
But first, we wanted to make sure that we could provide a comfortable and secure life for our children, even with only one income. Anita and I discussed our budget, our savings, our investments, and our contingency plans. We also set some financial goals, such as owning a house, saving for retirement, and having an emergency fund. Lastly, we agreed that we would review our financial situation regularly and make adjustments as needed.
Fast forward to today, we are blessed with three adorable children - two girls, ages 8 and 6, and a 2-year-old boy. It’s been quite a wild journey and an emotional rollercoaster ride.
Timing and finances for their flat
As the sole breadwinner, I had to plan and time our home purchase carefully, as Anita and I opted for renting a flat while waiting for our BTO flat to be completed. COVID delayed the process for five years, and we didn't want to wait that long to have our own place.
Thankfully, we could rely on our CPF savings for our home loan, making home ownership a realistic dream for our family.
We started by building a detailed spreadsheet to project the growth of our CPF savings until the BTO's completion. Based on that information, we also determined how much cash we required or could save up for our home purchase as well. Although the wait was inconvenient, the silver lining was that we had more time to plan and save for our home.
Find out how much OA savings you can use for your home purchase.
Protection for the family
One of the key factors for me was also getting insurance for my family since I had to bear the cost for all five of us. As soon as my children were born, we made sure that we had adequate healthcare insurance that would cover us in case of any serious health scares, without having to worry about the costs.
In addition, the ability to tap on my MediSave to pay for the MediShield Life premiums for my family also came in handy.
Saving for their children's future needs
Anita and I also established a regular savings plan specifically for our children's future education. We started by putting their green packets to good use, parking their money in safe instruments designed for long-term growth. For instance, we make top-ups to our children’s Child Development Accounts (CDA) as the money there can be used to pay for childcare or medical expenses.
Balancing personal needs with family obligations
With three children, I have to be extra prudent with my own spending. For example, I used to change my phone every two years. I’ve since extended it to 3 - 3.5 years for each change. I feel that it is still important that we do “self-care” by treating ourselves once in a while. Treats can include things that I enjoy, like the occasional expensive meal, clothes, and other technology gadgets.
I’m fortunate to have parents who instilled smart financial habits in us from a young age. This has made them quite self-sufficient. While they don't rely on us, me and my siblings still contribute a monthly allowance as a way to show our appreciation and ensure we're all prepared for the future. This way, if their needs change, we'll be ready to support them as they've always supported us.
Possible to be a single-income earner/parent in Singapore
Based on my experience, it is doable. Naturally, having two income-earners in the family may make things easier. But it also depends on your priorities. For us it’s our children’s development, we want to ensure that our children always have support at home. Therefore, if we cannot afford frequent expensive vacation or costly enrichment classes for them, it’s ok.
Is your money still your money?
Anita and I still see our money as our money. We plan for our finances together and make decisions as a team on the key financial decisions for our family. 😊
As for my children, their money is also our money. Hahaha. But of course, we don’t spend it, we help them grow their savings instead.
Imagine giving your children a head start in life, knowing they'll have a secure financial foundation. That's the magic of planning your finances together as parents!
Check out this article to learn how to achieve your financial goals, one small win at a time!
Information in this article is accurate as at the date of publication.
